Gecko on a Church Pew
I’m unblocked now, but wondering if I’m going about this all wrong. I’m still learning Instagram and clearly don’t really understand how to get the right hashtags to work. How do I turn all of this time on social media into actual book sales? I honestly have no idea! People say to be patient and this takes time, but I can’t help but feel doubt. I often wonder what the heck I’m doing. What do I do now? I feel like I'm letting others down. I want to help the non-profit "A Child Lives." What if I miss-understood God’s direction with all of this?
God has a way of giving you just what you need when you need it.
This week He really came through for me and it came in the form of a little itty-bitty green gecko at church! If this sounds crazy, just read on. You don’t know the half of it.
Years ago, while living in the Phoenix desert, I often hiked beautiful trails near our home. One summer day I was hiking and thinking about an upcoming visit the following week to Ohio to see my sweet Grandma. She was battling Alzheimer’s, her health was rapidly declining, and her mind was quickly slipping away. I was lost in thought knowing this may be the last time I see her alive. I was hiking all alone on this day, or so I thought.
I turned a corner on the trail and spotted a gecko on a rock. He seemed to be looking right at me. It made me chuckle and I actually said hello to the little guy as I walked by. I noticed the gecko was running just ahead of me and would appear on each passing rock. I kept an eye on him and was amazed he stayed with me all along the path. This made me laugh. I’ve never experienced this sort of thing before because these little guys usually quickly dash away if you get too close to them.
I turned another corner and there he was again, sitting atop a large rock looking right at me. I stopped walking and bend over towards him. He doesn’t scatter away and just looks at me. Suddenly I got this strong feeling I wasn’t alone. A frigid cold breeze blew right by me. You must realize this is summer in Arizona, which means it’s hotter than hot. I’m standing there with goose bumps on my legs and arms wondering what’s happening. I felt an overwhelming feeling of my Grandpa, my Grandma’s deceased husband. I look at the gecko and, to my own surprise, I actually ask the little green creature this question out loud, “Grandpa? Is that you?” The cool breeze blows once again and I am covered in goose bumps all over.
I know what you’re thinking. The heat was getting to me, perhaps sun stroke, or maybe I was seeing a mirage, but I swear this happened as I describe. I know this sounds insane but the little green creature looks right at me. He starts to bob up and down as if to say, “Yes.” I just stand there looking at this little fellow, again feeling a coldness in the air, and neither one of us move for quite some time. I was in disbelief but in awe at the same time. Then I hear this inner voice that I know is not my own. I just know in my heart of hearts it’s my Grandpa. This is what I hear, “I know you are going to see Dorothy next week. Tell her Raymond loves her and that he’s waiting for her.”
What do I do with this information?
Easy, I tell no one of this story! NO ONE - EVER!
The following week I venture to Ohio and visit Grandma. Mom warned me, prior to our arrival, that Grandma was quickly slipping and not to be alarmed if she didn’t recognize me because she probably won’t. Grandma would quickly forget everything happening around her in less than a few minutes so Mom wanted me to be prepared. She said she probably wouldn’t recognize me and I would have to repeat myself constantly.
You can imagine my surprise when Grandma recognized me right away and calls out my name. We had the best visit. When it was time to leave I gave her a hug. I whispered Grandpa’s message in her ear, unsure of what your reaction would be. She smiled the biggest smile and said, “Thank you.” I’ll forever remember that smile. It was the last conversation we ever had.
The truly amazing thing was a few days later when my Mom called me. She said the same day of my visit to see Grandma, Aunt Carmen called Mom to tell her about Grandma. Aunt Carmen didn’t know I was in town and didn’t know I went to see Grandma. Aunt Carmen was laughing, telling Mom that Grandma’s imagination was going wild because Grandma told her she saw Sandy earlier that day. Aunt Carmen was in shock when she found out it was true. She talked to Grandma hours after I was there. I took this as a sign that the message I was to pass on to Grandma was real.
Fast forward to this past Saturday at church.
I’m feeling down, depleted and discouraged after another failed week of marketing attempts with social media. I started to doubt and question everything, feeling like I’m wasting my time on the computer with no sales to show for it. I feel even worse about my cousin’s non-profit that I am helping because of the low sales. That’s when he appears. A small little gecko on the back of the church pew right in front of me. He’s just a few feet away and isn’t afraid of us. He just sits there and looks right at me.
I was instantly reminded of the last gecko experience of years ago and it was a reminder that we’re never alone. I look at this little green creature sitting atop a church pew and he just doesn’t move, for quite some time. I quietly wonder to myself if this is a sign or if it’s just a little green church intruder. I softly whisper, “Grandpa?” Right at that moment the little guy tilts his head as he looks at me, the same way a dog tilts its head when you talk to them. Coincidence? Perhaps, but as we were all saying a prayer after the sermon, I honestly saw this little guy close his eyes! I’m serious! He closed his eyes! After the prayer ended he opened his eyes, looked at me, and scampered away.
In the typical gecko encounter fashion, I hear a still small voice that I know is not my own. The message I hear clearly in my soul is, “Be patient. Stay the course. You are doing all the right things. It’s all going to work out, just keep doing what you are doing.” Do I believe that the spirit of my late Grandpa entered a gecko? I honestly don’t know. I do believe God and His Angels will use whatever they can to send us signs they know will reach us. Perhaps it will come in the form of a song, bird, butterfly, dolphin, dragonfly, and maybe even a gecko!
Do you believe in signs?
I do and I believe signs are all around us. The Bible never once says, “Figure it out,” but over and over it says, “Trust God.” He’s already got it all figured out. When you lose hope, God sends some very powerful signs. I walked out of church knowing this will be what I must write about in the blog and I don’t care who thinks I’m nuts. It will forever be remembered as the day a gecko on a church pew saved my blog.
Results for the week: -1.0 lbs lost; Total Lost: 42.0
D.O.W. = 490; Starting weight: 182.0; Current weight: 140.0
(Days on the Wagon = Days of food sobriety - no sugar pig-outs!)
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