Confessions of a Self-Proclaimed Worrywart

Question – How do you trade in worrying for having true faith?
Answer – I have no idea, and that worries me.

I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going, happy-go-lucky, and a go-with-the-flow kind of girl. But I’m not. I’m a worrier. It’s easy to release worry and rely on faith when everything is going fine, but how do you do that when it’s not? What do you do when you get caught in the “but what if” cycle of obsessive thoughts like a doomsday prepper preparing for the complete collapse of civilization?

This week I was put to the test, and although I like to think of myself as a woman of great faith, I’m also a self-proclaimed worrywart! A worrywart is defined as “a person who is inclined to worry unduly. One who worries excessively and needlessly.” My mind tells me that needless worry doesn’t make anything better or lesson the problem. The truth is you can’t worry problems away the same way you can’t get sick enough to make someone else well. Try telling that to my monkey brain at 2AM, when I’m tossing and turning, trying to shut down the inner worrywart.

The irony is not lost on me that I tossed and turned worrying about issues with my book launch. A book I wrote about trusting God. A book I poured my heart into that is all about finding peace, love, and happiness through your faith. It’s easy to have faith when all is well.

Is worrying actually a habit? Are we trained to automatically dwell on the worse possible scenarios when we play the “what if” game? Did we develop a default setting automatically exaggerating consequences with our worry habit? I’m determined to break this chronic cycle of worry. I believe that if we can’t decrease this stressed anxiety inducing worrying, we’ll never have room for peace. You can’t permanently eliminate something, like worry, without replacing it with something better. Perhaps that’s where faith comes in. I first must abandon the misguided belief that if I worry a little more, maybe my anxiety about the future will go away.

You can’t rely on the thought that you’ll stop worrying when this problem is resolved or that issue is complete. There will always be something else. You have to reach a level of acceptance that there is always going to be something to worry about. That’s called being alive. I need to accept this as reality, but how do you let go? How can you just cut your anxiety loose when it isn’t under your control? The next time you’re spiraling into another endless episode of playing the “what if” worrywart game, here are some things I discovered this week to try.

Reframe the “what if” game. Instead of internally listing all of the scary scenarios of the possible horrific outcomes, consider this. What if things all worked out? What if today turns out to be the best day of your life? Change your focus, at least for a moment, to only the potential happy endings with your situation, and it will help break the cycle. If that doesn’t work, interrupt the flow of worry by imagining – vividly – what you’d do if a pink unicorn walked into the room. See? Distraction works.

Refrain from reliving and regretting the mistakes of your past. I don’t know any perfect people but I know many who struggle with trying to be, such as yours truly. Last week I changed a description on my blog to “inspirational couching” instead of “inspirational coaching!” Luckily Dan noticed, but it was after all of the Facebook posts went out saying I was some sort of inspiring piece of furniture! I could list examples for days of things like this, but I need to let it go and move on! We all make mistakes.

We all worry what people think about us, until we decide not to. I found myself obsessing about what others may be thinking, spiraling into the thoughts of who am I to write a book and all of that negative stuff. I decided I needed to just make a deliberate choice to stop. This week I read about a trick for this. Pretend you are a Martian visiting earth. You are here observing humans. You observe their opinions of you, like you are a Martian observer gathering data on humans, not a vulnerable peer. This helped me realize that other’s opinions are really about them and not me. This also took me out of worry mode. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6 

Most importantly, I had to get real this week with the fact that these feelings of worry and fear ultimately goes back to the fact that I’m not trusting God. Worry is not from God. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of sound mind.” I have to remind myself to take my worries to God, in prayer with a thankful heart, asking Him to open my mind to understand and accept His plan. He didn’t take me down this path to leave me now! He’s got my back. He always has and He always will.

Later in the week, when I spiraled into another worrywart cycle of another sleepless night, I couldn’t help but think back to when I was a little girl. Life wasn’t as scary or worrisome back when we had parents we could take our problems to. If Dad said, “Don’t worry about it, pumpkin, I’ll take care of it.” I believed him and didn’t worry. It doesn’t work that way as an adult. The truth is that we have God and He wants to do that for us today. God is waiting for us to turn to Him to take that burden away. Isaiah 41:10 says to “Fear not for I am with you.” This week I realized that if pink unicorns and Martians don’t do the trick, I have God and that’s all I need.

Results for the week:  - 0.6 lbs lost; Total Lost: 42.0

D.O.W. = 406

(Days on the Wagon = Days of food sobriety - no sugar pig-outs!)

Starting weight:  182.0; Current weight: 140.0