The Challenge
I closed my eyes and started to pray out loud. I promised God that if he could send someone to help me, I promised that the very next day I would get a cell phone and I promised I would immediately join AAA. I opened my eyes as I said, “Amen” and that’s when I saw the bright lights of a truck pulling up behind me. I could see a large man getting out of his truck and was walking up to mine holding a large flashlight. I quickly added to my prayer, “P.S. God, please let this be the person you are sending to help me and not some crazed lunatic that’s about to attack me and leave me for dead. Amen.”
The man in the truck proceeded to change my tire for me. He was so very kind. I thanked him for stopping to help me. He said that he actually saw my tire go but he was on the opposite side of the freeway, going the other direction. He just knew he had to come help me and apologized for taking so long. He said that the next exit was closed and he had to go to the following exit to turn around to come back this way. I couldn’t believe it. I told him how scared I was, with no cell phone, and that I prayed for God to send me help. He said that God told him to turn around and come help me before I even asked. He went on to share that he has a wife and a daughter about my age. He said he hoped a kind stranger would stop and help them if they were ever in my situation. I never felt so humbled or grateful. That was the day I learned the value of random acts of kindness.
Do you want to be more successful in going after your goals? Do you want to increase your level of happiness? Do you want to feel better about yourself and raise your self-esteem? Do you want to stay on track with your pursuit of your dreams? I think one way is to simply practice random acts of kindness. Studies have proven those who practice kindness have better health, stronger relationships, live longer lives, experience greater success, and are less likely to be a jackass. I added that last one, but it’s true.
Over a decade ago, Japanese researchers found that happy people were kinder than those who were not happy. That seems obvious, but their study also found that your sense of happiness increases by the simple act of counting the number of your kind acts. Barbara Fredrickson concluded from her research that kindness moves you from feeling selfish to feeling compassion. Fredrickson’s research showed that acts of kindness reduces stress, boosts our immune systems and helps to reduce negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, and depression.
Random acts of kindness releases a positive energy to the giver, the receiver, and the observer. Performing random acts of kindness reduces pain because dopamine, serotnin, and opioids are released in the brain. It also releases neurochemicals that result in a sense of well-being. Your mind releases oxytocin, even if you are the observer of the kind act, which calms the stress response and will help you live longer.
I found an interesting perspective that looked at this through the lens of raising your child. Everyone wants to raise happy kids. The question posed is would you rather raise a child that is kind or a child that is happy? The common answer was that everyone wants to raise happy kids. Looking at it deeper, consider this. Would you rather have your kid be happy, and struggle to be kind, or who is kind and struggles to be happy?
The problem is that if one pursues happiness, often kindness can be forgotten. However, happiness is often gained by the pursuit of kindness and doing for others. Thought creates attitude, which creates behavior. If we focus on being happy, at the beginning of that formula, we focus on our thoughts. “Think happy thoughts” is pretty hard to do if you feel unhappy or depressed. If you start with behavior, and perform acts of kindness, that behavior will change your attitude, which will change what you think about. Happiness will follow.
If you teach kids to be kind, then you teach them the attitude of empathy, which leads to happiness. If you teach them happiness, you teach them the attitude of selfishness and the behavior that could lead to arrogance and entitlement. This example of looking at this through the lens of raising kids, gives you a perspective on yourself. If you do what makes you happy, it might not lead to happiness. But if you do something kind, it certainly will make you happy. If you do something kind, everyone wins.
It’s interesting that the simple witnessing of others being kind can release the same “feel good” chemicals that doing an act of kindness can produce. However, the benefit is even greater when you are the performer of the act. One act of small kindness can release an enormous chain of positive events. Lao Tzu said, “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” The Bible tells us in Colossians 3:12, “Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Ephesians 4:32 simply instructs us to “Be kind to one another.”
I’ve never once been without a cell phone, or AAA membership, since that dark scary night on the side of the Phoenix freeway. I’ll never forget the random act of a stranger and the way that made me feel. I challenge you to go out and perform one random act of kindness today. A small simple act of kindness can change a person’s mood, their day, and even their life. The miracle of kindness is that it’s contagious. Perhaps the best life changing lesson to learn from random acts of kindness is with what Paramahansa Yogananda said. “Be kind to others, so that you may learn the secret art of being kind to yourself.”
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