There's No Crying in Baseball!
Readers
know by now three things about me. I may
be a little too sensitive, I share maybe a little too much, but I always keep
it real. So, in the spirit of keeping it
real, I was truly afraid this week was going to be the first week without a
blog post in 44 weeks! I’m still going
strong, at 308 days on the wagon, but this week was a tough one. I can’t lie.
I struggled for inspiration on what I needed because this week came at
me like drinking through a fire hose. Every
single long exhausting day left me uninspired and wilted. Today I realize I simply need to heed my own
advice, from the beginning of this journey, and just keep it real.
I
know I’m a put together business woman with a high stress job, I accept
that. I know I’m good at my job, I don’t
doubt that. But sometimes my cup
overflows with too much stress, and since I no longer choose to hit the vending
machine of sugary evil comforting goodness, I have to find healthier ways to
cope. Hiding from these feelings, or
denying they are there, has only gotten me into big trouble in the past. Today I realize I’ve actually come a long
way. Unfortunately, this week I cried
and I cried in front of a colleague. Yes,
I cried, but I didn’t eat anything bad for me.
Yes, I cried, but I still came home and did my workout. Yes, I cried, but I'm still standing, and
guess what? It probably won’t be the
last time I cry at an unwanted time. I
know I’m not alone. I know it.
The same day, of my humiliating crying event, there was a horrific plane crash just blocks away from my work. A military plane landed on a freeway and nine people were killed. My path home took me literally feet away from the devastation. I slowly drove by the crowds of military and police officials blocking the road. The road was closed in all directions but they allowed one lane to cross the freeway which was my way home. I inched across the four lane freeway and could still see smoke rise from the previous explosion that billowed in the sky hours earlier. Tears flowed again. This time I felt the extreme grief for the military family members now receiving phone calls of their fallen heros. I then started to quickly feel guilty for being so upset at my "bad" day, which paled so very miserably to the reality of a truly bad day.
The same day, of my humiliating crying event, there was a horrific plane crash just blocks away from my work. A military plane landed on a freeway and nine people were killed. My path home took me literally feet away from the devastation. I slowly drove by the crowds of military and police officials blocking the road. The road was closed in all directions but they allowed one lane to cross the freeway which was my way home. I inched across the four lane freeway and could still see smoke rise from the previous explosion that billowed in the sky hours earlier. Tears flowed again. This time I felt the extreme grief for the military family members now receiving phone calls of their fallen heros. I then started to quickly feel guilty for being so upset at my "bad" day, which paled so very miserably to the reality of a truly bad day.
So today I give myself permission to be human. If we want to heal, we have to feel. I allow myself to feel the gamut of emotions, the unpleasant negative feelings, and the good positive ones. Clearly I used to suppress the bad emotions with food, deny their existence, or try to ignore them. Emotions flow through the same pipeline. The problem is when we suppress negative feelings we restrict the flow of positive feelings. This week I realized it’s important to give myself permission to feel the negative, and to work through them, so there’s room for the positive to flow. We are all blessed with a rich emotional makeup. This week I realized that through this journey I have now allowed myself to feel. Unfortunately, that meant I cried in front of a colleague at work, but who really cares?
Life
isn’t easy. We all will have good days
and certainly bad days. I try hard to
keep my vibrational level tuned in to a positive frequency to manifest amazing
blessings in my life, and stay connected to God. But some days you just need to cry, wipe it
off, and keep pushing forward. It’s not
normal to try to make yourself feel good when you just don’t. Denying our emotions creates inner turmoil. Through this journey I’ve become more in tune
with what I’m actually feeling. I
developed a practice of consciously feeling, becoming more aware of my emotions,
and this has opened a new way of living.
I am not grazing my way through the kitchen in search of relief anymore,
and that’s changed my life!
THE GAME
CHANGER
The Switch
Switch
from thinking to actually feeling. Physically
feel what the feeling is doing within your body. Be fully present with your feelings and notice
where they exist physically within you.
Notice the physical sensations within your body when you feel whatever
is happening. I feel fear in my stomach,
anger in my jaw, stress in a tightening of my neck and sadness in my
chest. I’m sure it may be different for
everyone. Honestly, I never paid
attention to this before. This is a new
discovery for me and I continue to discover more. Healing occurs when we shift from thinking
about the issue happening to feeling what it’s physically doing to us. The key is to stop thinking
about the situation that got you into this moment and focus on how you physically
feel.
The
Shift
When
we allow our bodies to fully feel the emotion, they rise up into
expression. That is what emotions need,
to be expressed fully. Once that happens
they shift and you feel relief. Feelings
are usually very uncomfortable but when we feel them they change, and often
this happens quickly. Feeling the
feelings doesn’t solve the problem but feelings are our pathway to growing and loving. When we stop feeling we stop growing. This allows you to stop reacting. The shift occurs and you are no longer stuck in the prison of that emotion.
I have heard your prayer and
seen your tears I will heal you.
2 Kings 20:5
I realize
this is an ongoing process, and with practice, has become easier to recognize
what I’m feeling. I know when I'm about to go off the deep end and lose it. This week I came close to the edge but I’ve developed new ways to actually feel, and that’s made all the difference. I used to not even know what I was truly feeling,
just knowing something was wrong. It’s no wonder I was using food as a coping
mechanism. Brandon Bays said, “True
courage is the willingness to fully experience whatever you are feeling at the
moment. You can attempt to run from your
emotions, but eventually they will catch up with you. They will chase you, haunt you, until finally
you give up the chase.”
Part of having a full life is feeling all of your emotions, the good and the bad, and to allow the emotional pipeline to flow both ways. Bryant McGill said, “Don’t be harsh or demanding on yourself. Just experience your feelings and know that your tears are announcing change in your life.” There’s no crying in baseball, but maybe there should be.
Part of having a full life is feeling all of your emotions, the good and the bad, and to allow the emotional pipeline to flow both ways. Bryant McGill said, “Don’t be harsh or demanding on yourself. Just experience your feelings and know that your tears are announcing change in your life.” There’s no crying in baseball, but maybe there should be.
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