Highway Hypnosis
The sun was already
setting after a long twelve hour work day.
A late day meeting put me behind my normal schedule. I was driving through the parking lot to make
my way home, get in my workout and eat dinner.
My mind was replaying events of the day, mentally combing through the
evening’s “to do” list and premeditating the timing in an attempt to still have
at least a few minutes of relaxation time before going to bed. I was stressed, exhausted and hungry. Luckily he was far enough away to safely
escape my hypnotic drive-by but I honestly didn't even see him until I was
past him. I mouthed the words, “I’m
sorry,” and kept on driving. I could
tell he was very upset at me, and rightfully so, he was in the cross walk after
all. I couldn’t help but wonder the rest
of the way home... Where was my mind? What was I thinking? Why was I not aware? What if the timing was different and not so
lucky? What is wrong with me?
If there’s one
thing I’ve learned in sharing this journey is that it seems if I’m feeling a
certain way, or struggling with something, often many others are going through
the same thing. So, in the spirit of
keeping it real, here it is. Lately I’ve
been feeling scattered, unguarded, unprepared and just plain out of it. I am working out for at least an hour and meeting my calorie goal each day but recently
it’s been a struggle. I feel like I’m going through the daily motions of life
under highway hypnosis and I’m not present in my own life right now. My mind is going in so many different directions. Clearly, I almost ran over a man in the
parking lot, so I need to take notice of this and figure something out. I’m losing it. (And by "it" I mean my mind because clearly it's not weight this week.)
I find myself
wanting to eat when I’m not hungry again, like at the beginning of this
process, and am barely meeting my calorie goal. I have not fallen off the wagon by cheating but I fear I’m close to the edge of the wagon and that scares me. Lately I just feel like I want to eat all the
time and I know it’s not from hunger. If
I’m totally honest with myself, I have not been as diligent about portion sizes
which impacts the calories and that would explain a small weight loss and the
dreaded weight gain. I will not allow
any gain to derail my efforts. I refuse
to fall off the wagon!
I ask God to help. God, please help me figure out what is wrong with me. How do I stay on track? How do I find a way to stay present in my own life? How do I get out of this fog I’m in? God placed one word on my heart, “Recalibrate.” The question I ask this week is how?
I ask God to help. God, please help me figure out what is wrong with me. How do I stay on track? How do I find a way to stay present in my own life? How do I get out of this fog I’m in? God placed one word on my heart, “Recalibrate.” The question I ask this week is how?
Webster’s explains
that in order to calibrate something you "standardize it by determining the
deviation from a standard as to ascertain the proper factors." To recalibrate my journey I need to go back
to the basics, evaluate what's worked for the past six months and make
the appropriate adjustments to stay on track.
I realize that the steps I’ve taken on this journey during the past six
months worked to lose over 30 pounds so I am giving myself a refresher course
to make certain I’m still in touch with the things that got me here. These are the steps I renew focus on for the
new week as to recalibrate my journey. I
am not slowing down; I am not giving up; I will beat this thing and be
successful at this! I burned my boat and
there’s no going back!
- Recognize when I want to use food to change the way I feel. Highway hypnosis living caused me to lose focus on paying attention to this. Do something else to change the way I feel instead of eat.
- Will it matter in one year or in five years? If the answer is no, let it go! Practice the 4 T’s: Time out; Take a deep breath, Turn it over to God; Talk to someone.
- Monitor negative thoughts and make a deliberate choice to think differently. Practice daily gratitude.
- Do I want to feel the pain of discipline or the pain of regret? Remind myself of this before each work out and before each time I reach for a snack when I know I’m not hungry.
- Practice the 5 second rule… 5-4-3-2-1 – Make a better choice! 5-4-3-2-4 – Make a different choice! 5-4-3-2-1 – put down the snack and do something else.
- Remember the reasons why I deserve this; don’t lose sight on the why. I’m a child of God, I only have one life to live so I need to make it count, my experience and struggles will help others and I believe in me. This list is posted in my office, I will read it each day.
- Visualize it! I realize I stopped the practice of visualizing my ideal body. Perhaps it’s because I like the way I’m looking now but part of the benefit of visualization is that I used to visualize myself doing the hard work, watching my portions and seeing myself stay on plan. I will get back to the daily practice of this!
- Continue to be completely open and honest with my struggles and feelings; it’s the only path to health and healing. Thus the reason for this very blog because of this week's struggles. The truth shines light in the darkness and the truth really does set you free.
Life moves so fast;
if you don’t take a moment to hit the pause button, you’ll miss it. I feel that God speaks to us through our
inner voice that, with a gentle whisper, guides us in the right direction. Lately the outside life noise is too loud for
me to hear that inner whisper and perhaps that is why I feel a bit lost. Meetings, phone calls, emails, texts and work
business fill my days. The constant
noise from a TV, radio, Podcast, Netflix, YouTube, phone calls, texts,
Facebook, Snapchat, and you name it, is happening at all times. I’m rushing and running but getting
nowhere. Perhaps an electronic diet will
help me with a food diet.
But there is an even deeper problem
with this kind of mental spinning. The distraction and unnecessary noise,
created by mentally being somewhere else other than the present, robs me from
being present with God who is always
present for me. I tried meditation before and it was not
successful. I found it difficult, boring
and, quite frankly, stupid, if you want to know the truth. Lately I feel that these signs are pointing
to the fact that maybe I need to give it another go. This time I change the label of what could be
considered “meditation” and I am calling it prayer time. A designated prayer time I can get
behind. I decided this will be a quiet
time that I focus on God with no specific prayer or mantra to recite. It’s just me and God, alone, with the
quietness of zero electronics. I promise to set aside time to do this every day this coming week.
“Don’t worry about tomorrow,” Jesus
tells us in Matthew 6:26. “Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away
in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.” God will take care of us.
God will guide and provide for us. Our work is to live in the present so we can
receive the gift of God’s loving care one moment at a time. This week throughout the day I will
pray, “God allow me to be present to what I am doing right now and to you.”
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