Bath Tub Alligators
There’s
nothing in this world that can startle me from a deep coma sleep into full
throttle adrenaline pumping alertness more than that subtle soft sound a dog makes when
they are about to throw up. This is especially
true if said dog sleeps in bed with you like my Oliver. I’m sure Mommas of human children have that
same Spidey sense for any number of potential daily disasters that can
throw a wrench in your day. It’s easy to
stay on track, on plan and in the game when things are rolling along as normal
but what about those days that life throws us a curve ball? You oversleep because you forgot to set your
alarm. You wake up to a pounding headache.
The car won’t start. You notice the tire is flat. You realize your child has a fever and then…
fill in the blank. Often life doesn’t go
as smoothly as we plan and things go wrong.
Sometimes it’s little things, sometimes it’s major. The question I ask this week is how do we
stay on track when these curve balls come plummeting at us?
In
her 2003 book, “We’re having the Time of our Lives,” Daisy Hepburn writes of
her husband’s recovery following a massive stroke. Daisy tells the story of how a friend sent
her a ripped out page from an old Daily Bread devotional magazine; it
reads:
“Gracie
Allen was given a pet alligator,” the writer began, “and she didn’t know what
to do with the thing. It was about 12-15
inches long. So in haste she put it in
her bathtub and went out shopping. While
she was out, her maid arrived and found the alligator in the bathtub. The maid was appalled, and wrote a note to
Gracie Allen. It read: Dear
Miss Allen – I QUIT! I don’t work where
there are alligators. I would have told
you this when I signed on, but I never thought it would come up!”
Perhaps
you’ve found an alligator in your bath tub and you want to say to the
Lord: I don’t do a puking dog, I don’t
do a sick child, or a broken car, or…to any number of life’s unexpected
surprises. Perhaps the alligator is much
bigger. Recently we heard news that a good friend is getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage. We also heard that my husband's young cousin just found out he has lung cancer. We also received tragic news that another
dear friend is losing her battle with Parkinson’s disease and was told she has four
months to live. I’m sure she wants to
write God a note and say, “Dear God – I QUIT! I don’t do Parkinson’s. I would have told you this when I signed on,
but I never thought it would come up!”
Jesus
warned us that life would not be easy when he talked to his disciples before
going to the Cross. He didn’t say we’d
have alligators in the bath tub exactly, but he could have. The good news is that he tells us to cheer up
because he has overcome on our behalf. Jesus said, “In this world you will have
tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
I
don’t know about you but in the heat of a disaster moment, when that alligator
is staring me in the face, it’s hard to fully rely on God. I get there eventually but my first impulse
is to panic before I pray. I’m working
on that. When the alligators are big and
contain words like cancer, chemo or death we must turn to God in order to get through it. What about those little annoying daily alligators,
the dog throwing up gator, the car breaking down gator or the pounding headache
gator? How do we wrestle those
alligators and not allow them to derail our path to success? Nothing is too little or too big for God; something I need to constantly remind myself of.
Discovering
even the smallest of alligators in your tub can cause the adrenaline to start
pumping and your mind to start racing to worst case scenarios in a matter of
seconds. The fight or flight response
kicks in quickly. What can we do? It’s important to stay present in the moment
and breathe. I practice making a
conscious effort to take a truly deep breath in these moments, and then take
another and another. Herbert Benson, MD
wrote a book back in the 1960’s called The Relaxation Response which describes
the benefits of relaxation, meditation and exercise to lower blood pressure,
relax our muscles and to slow our heart beats.
We all know this to be true but it’s difficult to figure out how to
relax when we are in panic mode, running late for work or trying to catch dog puke in our hands as to avoid getting the sheets dirty.
I
recognize that I have the distinct ability to often exaggerate, jump to
conclusions and explore the worst possible outcome of any alligator situation. Sticking your head in the sand and denying
the realities of truly a bad situation also isn’t good and could make a bad situation
worse. But I have learned over the years
it is important to try to keep a balanced perspective.
Life is hard. There will be dark
hard days. There will be seasons of
death, illness and injury. There will be
days of sick kids, puking dogs and broken cars.
Life will be difficult and we will struggle. There’s going to be big and small alligators
every single day.
What do we do when the alligators are huge? What do we do when we find ourselves in the truly dark place and we can't find the light? God holds the power and there is power in you. Here are power steps to help fight the really big alligators, get out of the darkness and get back on track.
What do we do when the alligators are huge? What do we do when we find ourselves in the truly dark place and we can't find the light? God holds the power and there is power in you. Here are power steps to help fight the really big alligators, get out of the darkness and get back on track.
The
pain that you’ve been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that’s coming. Romans 8:19
Power in the Little Things:
When times are difficult and you are in that dark space, find three little things you can do for the day. When you are feeling down and depressed having three things you can do for that day will help you find the connection you are missing with your day and with yourself. This will help you remember that this too shall pass. It doesn't have to be complex. Maybe the first thing is to get up and take a shower. Perhaps it’s to take a walk. Maybe it's make a phone call to a friend or family member. We can’t just sit and wait for the dark feeling to pass without taking action, even if it’s a small action. Small little goals each day, during the dark times, will help you to feel better.
When times are difficult and you are in that dark space, find three little things you can do for the day. When you are feeling down and depressed having three things you can do for that day will help you find the connection you are missing with your day and with yourself. This will help you remember that this too shall pass. It doesn't have to be complex. Maybe the first thing is to get up and take a shower. Perhaps it’s to take a walk. Maybe it's make a phone call to a friend or family member. We can’t just sit and wait for the dark feeling to pass without taking action, even if it’s a small action. Small little goals each day, during the dark times, will help you to feel better.
Power in Perspective:
When it’s a truly rough hard time and life knocks you down, try to keep perspective. There have been good times before so remember them, especially during the darkest days. There will be more good times ahead. Remember the times when it was better. Remember your strength. It’s so easy to play the victim and to focus on the negative, forgetting your inner power. If you’re waiting and looking for a miracle you need to realize that you are the miracle! We have the freedom of choice to direct our own emotions and attitudes each day. That is the miracle. It’s a gift we have the power of choice and we must activate it. Maybe you have to take the action to reach out and ask for help but you have the power to connect. It’s very easy to curl up on the sofa in the fetal positions until the days look brighter but keep perspective.
When it’s a truly rough hard time and life knocks you down, try to keep perspective. There have been good times before so remember them, especially during the darkest days. There will be more good times ahead. Remember the times when it was better. Remember your strength. It’s so easy to play the victim and to focus on the negative, forgetting your inner power. If you’re waiting and looking for a miracle you need to realize that you are the miracle! We have the freedom of choice to direct our own emotions and attitudes each day. That is the miracle. It’s a gift we have the power of choice and we must activate it. Maybe you have to take the action to reach out and ask for help but you have the power to connect. It’s very easy to curl up on the sofa in the fetal positions until the days look brighter but keep perspective.
I learned the most about life and myself during the darkest times of my life. Think
about what you’re going through and try to figure out what it is you’re suppose
to learn from this situation. What
should you start learning in your life?
Brendon Burchard says that it’s in the process of learning that
activates other parts of the brain to grow and cope. This perspective phase is when it’s time to
stand up and figure out how to advance your life to the next stage. What do you need to learn to feel better
about yourself? Desire to be your best
self despite the difficulties you are experiencing. How can I be my best self in this situation? You can’t put on your victim hat. You have the power to move forward.
Power in the Gratitude Attitude:
When times are most difficult, do not forget gratitude. Part of living from our highest self, and from our lessons in life, is to become a more grateful person. Become more aware of the blessings from God. Find out what you could be grateful for despite what you are going through. You do have things going for you. Be grateful for your health and vision for your life. When life is most difficult is when we need to be the most grateful. This will help you get your energy back up and get you back on track for life.
Last week my baby sister and her family were startled awake to the sound of their smoke alarms going off in their newly remodeled home. Their garbage can caught on fire and their garage was badly burned. This was an unexpected scary alligator but we were filled with gratitude that they all escaped unharmed. It could have been so much worse.
When times are most difficult, do not forget gratitude. Part of living from our highest self, and from our lessons in life, is to become a more grateful person. Become more aware of the blessings from God. Find out what you could be grateful for despite what you are going through. You do have things going for you. Be grateful for your health and vision for your life. When life is most difficult is when we need to be the most grateful. This will help you get your energy back up and get you back on track for life.
Last week my baby sister and her family were startled awake to the sound of their smoke alarms going off in their newly remodeled home. Their garbage can caught on fire and their garage was badly burned. This was an unexpected scary alligator but we were filled with gratitude that they all escaped unharmed. It could have been so much worse.
Bad Day Re-Boot
There will be small annoying gators daily. When
you find yourself in the midst of a bad day, what you think is missing is motivation, but that’s
not true. We are not designed to do
things that are uncomfortable; our brains are designed to keep us from those
things that make us uncomfortable. We’re
never going to feel like doing things that makes us uncomfortable but in order to achieve
our goals, and to truly go for it, we have to do certain things anyway. This is especially important when things
start to go awry and your day isn’t going to plan. When we are facing a tub full of gators and we have to do some hard things, face it, we are never going to feel like
it. We’re only motivated to do the
things that are easy.
Why
is it so hard to do the little things that would improve my life? Our minds are designed to stop you from doing
anything that might hurt you. We all
have a habit of hesitating. When you
hesitate you get what Mel Robbins describes as the Spotlight Effect. Your brain magnifies the risk to pull you
away from something that may cause a problem.
Any alligator can trigger this problem and paralyze you from taking
action. Mel says, "Motivation is
garbage; we’ll never feel like it. We
need to take control with the split second small little decision." In the heat of alligator mania, we are just
one decision away from a totally different life; one decision away from a new
body, better relationship with our spouse or kids. It all happens in these small little micro
moments that can easily get derailed when the rhythm of our day gets knocked
off track because of any number of reasons. Learn how to take control of that
micro moment. Life comes down to your
decisions, especially the little decisions. When you take control of your
decisions you can change your life. What
can you do when you find your day is going off the rails? How can you re-boot a bad day and get things
back on track? Here are three ways to push to restart button.
1. Stop the insanity, distractions and drama!
Did
you really know what you were supposed to do that day? If you don’t have solid goals for the day you’ll
spend all day reacting to others with email, texts, etc. If you are missing an agenda for the day set
one. What are the key goals and projects
you need to accomplish for the day? If
you get lost during the day, you need direction to get back on track. Lack of direction causes distraction and
drama. If you set clear objectives for the day ahead of time you'll know where to go if you get lost.
2. Drop the phone and walk way!
What do you do if it's the middle of the afternoon and your day is lost and completely went to crap? Everything you touch is a mess and nothing is going right. Take a step away from it. Literally go outside, take a walk, listen to music, and don’t think about
anything at all for at least 15 minutes. When you return to your desk or office, sit down and write the top three things you must accomplish for the rest of that day. Once those are accomplished, what is your reward if you accomplish all three things? This could be a healthy snack or calling a friend. A healthy reward for your body and soul will feel good.
3. Get out of your own head and into God!
Get
outside of your own head by asking a simple question. What can I do right now to give a surprise,
some gratitude or some joy to someone around me? Perhaps you thank someone for something they did for you recently, sincerely compliment someone to brighten their day, or send some
love with an iPhone video or message to someone in your life. Activate some God talk by closing your eyes and have a heart to heart talk with yourself and God. Remind yourself that you are a child of God; you have faith; you are here to serve.
When I am having a rough day, I pray this prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." There’s always going to be bathtub alligators. What a blessing to know that life’s surprises are no surprise to God.
When I am having a rough day, I pray this prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." There’s always going to be bathtub alligators. What a blessing to know that life’s surprises are no surprise to God.
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