The Rocking Chair Test

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the major decisions in my life, and where I am today.  All of the little forks in the road that brought me to this day, at this place, and in this body, seem like fate.   Some of those forks were, at the time, catastrophic mistakes.  We’re talking, I’m lucky to still be alive, kind of mistakes.  Regret wouldn’t be necessary if we had time machines.  We could go back and avoid past failures.  Insight and knowledge of the future would allow us to make better choices and avoid those mistakes.  But what if all of those twists and turns were all part of God’s master plan, to land us in the exact chair we’re sitting in right now, reading these exact words?  What if?  What if we were supposed to go down the path we chose, to learn what we were supposed to learn, to change the way we changed, and to become who we’ve become?   Is it possible that God’s hand guided it all?  If so, that feeling of regret no longer serves us.  We no longer need to ponder over the “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, if only, and what if” moments of our past.  Set it free.

All of the stupid mistakes you made in the past have led you to be the person you are today.  Never regret them.   I’m talking to myself here.  Life is all about choices.  I’ve learned that I need to do my best to make the right ones and try to learn something from the wrong ones.  Steve Maraboli said, “We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here now with the power to shape your day and your future.”   Gordon Hinckley says, “The course of our lives is seldom determined by great, life-altering decisions.  Our direction is often set by the small, day-to-day choices that chart the track on which we run.  This is the substance of our lives, making decisions.”  The greatest gift God gave us is the power to make decisions.  I’ve learned over the years to find ways to trust my gut and ask God for guidance.  I used to not know how to do that, and went through the cycle of panic and dread.   But I now have faith that God’s hand is in all of our decisions, the good ones, and what we think are poor ones.

I've realized that it's my own choice on how I want to spend the rest of my life. Every day brings a chance to live a life free of regret. Every single day we have a chance to add more joy and happiness to our life. It’s up to us. In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. Every journey we take in life, we are met with options. The forks in the road, the choices, and the decisions we make, all shape our lives.  Onuoho said, “Every challenge you encounter in life is a fork in a road. You have the choice to choose which way to go – backward, forward, breakdown or breakthrough.” I’ve learned that often the greatest breakthrough comes after the hardest breakdown. Yogi Berra said, “Keep trying. Stay humble. Trust your instincts. Most importantly, act. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

How do you know which road to take? How do you know if the choice you are about to make is the right one? How can you be certain you’ll have no regrets? I started a silly exercise years ago involving a rocking chair.  It actually works, or it has for me.  Recently, I did it again, and was reminded of the great value it adds when faced with a choice in life. Imagine yourself as an old man or woman. I’m in my late 90’s when I do this. I’m sitting in a rocking chair looking back over my life. I look back to where I’m struggling right now, the decision I’m about to make, and the fork in the road before me.  My 90 year old self imagines how I feel with my decision. What if I never did it? Do I regret not taking the chance? Would I always wonder what if? How do I feel, as a 90 year old, about the fork in the road I decided to take?

We all come across questions like these during our lifetime. Often we just shut them out, choose the safe choice, and go with the familiar.  Sit yourself down in that 90 year old rocking chair.  It's a great way to ensure you can live your life without regret. Tim Wiley said, “Where you end up isn’t the most important thing. It’s the road you take to get there. The road you take is what you’ll look back on and call your life.” I often will check in with my future 90 year old self, sitting in that chair, and ask her if I have any regrets now on the choices I’ve made in the life that I’m living. What do I wish I made time for? What do I wish I had tried? What if? I’ve learned that I’m more disappointed by the things I didn’t do then the ones I did.

Regret for things we did can be tempered by time;

it is regret for things we did not do that is inconsolable.

-Sydney Harris

The Simple Guide to 

Regret Free Rocking Chair Remembering 

The Main Thing:

"The main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing," says Pastor Jonathan Riddle. Keep God first and everything else will fall into place. Isaiah 8: 20 says to pray first and act second. The closer you come to Jesus the further you leave the regrets. Trust your gut feeling. It’s your intuition, it’s your angels, and it’s your guide. Trust that feeling. Practice forgiveness. Free yourself from bitterness, and move beyond the pain. We’ve all been hurt. Choose to forgive and release yourself from resentment in order to move forward in life.

Risky Business: 

Take risks.  Have the courage to move forward and achieve a fuller gratifying life. The 90 year old you wants you to live with gusto! When there are choices to make, choose the experience you’ve never had before.  View failure as a stepping stone. Don’t quit just because you failed; your 90 year old self deserves better.  Follow your own dreams. Pursue the longings of your heart. Don’t stay so busy trying to live up to the expectations of others that you don’t allow yourself to follow your own dream. When you come to a fork in the road, follow your heart.

Keep Your Balance:

Keep your work at work. We miss out on the things that are most important without a proper work/life balance. When you reach the end of your life, it’s not your work that matters, but the people you loved.  Put your purpose into practice. It’s never too late to decide what matters to you, and go after it. Perhaps you have a J-O-B, for the paycheck, but there’s no joy. Find out what matters and fuels your fire. Don’t lose sight of your personal mission in life. It’s never too late!

You Do You: 

Just totally, and unapologetically, be yourself. When we deny our true authentic self, we die a little inside. Be who you are, a unique special child of God. When you are truly yourself, you give permission to everyone else to do the same. Who you are is what makes you special. Let your light shine.  Keep your sense of humor and take life less seriously. Life is too short. Find your joy every single day in your life. Don’t take life, or yourself, so seriously.  You are enough.  Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”

Old Dogs Learn New Tricks: 

Never stop learning. Lifelong learners are happier in their golden years. “The day you stop learning is the day you stop living, " said Albert Einstein. 

Use Your Power for Good:

Speak from your heart more than your mind. Words are powerful; use your power for good. Speak the truth but share your heart. Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” and “I love you.”  Let your loved ones know you love them.  John 13:34 says, “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Trust in God:

Why things happen isn’t always clear. Trust there is a bigger plan. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  Orison Swett Marden said, “What lies ahead will always be a mystery. That’s what makes it fun. “When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time.”  Ephesians 3:20 says, “God has more in store for you than you can even imagine.”  No matter what happens, be kind.  Always.

Results for the week:  - 0 lbs lost; Total Lost: 42

D.O.W. = 350

Starting weight:  182.0; Current weight: 140.0