You Again?
I have the worst sense of
direction. I easily get lost and rely
heavily on all forms GPS navigation systems, perhaps a bit too much! I shudder at long ago flashback memories of
paper maps and literally pulling over at gas stations to ask for directions. The woman’s voice within my GPS system often says,
“Recalculating” because I miss the required turns… a lot! I had to use a GPS to find my way around, after
we moved to South Carolina, for an embarrassing long period of time. If my life was hooked up to a GPS I would
constantly hear “Recalculating!” Sometimes
the right path is not the easiest one and often we may miss a turn or go in the
wrong direction. There certainly have
been times that the GPS woman would have asked me, “How did you get so far from
where you were supposed to be?”
I do think that we are all equipped
with an inner GPS system. We may call it
intuition, or that “gut feeling,” but I believe it’s real. Years ago I was traveling alone down Bell
Road on a bright sunny day in Phoenix, Arizona.
It seemed I found the most perfect speed for I hit every traffic light
green. I wasn’t speeding too badly; but kept
a steady pace as to continue to hit the green lights. Out of nowhere I hear a voice from the back
seat. I clearly hear, “Sandy- slow
down.” It caught me by surprise because
I’m all alone in this car. I take my
foot off the gas immediately in confusion.
I was just approaching another green light at an intersection. The split second action of releasing the gas pedal
caused my car to slow just enough, that a speeding car from the cross street
ran the red light, missing me by pure inches.
I will never forget that day as long as I live. I’m convinced that it was my angel and
perhaps that’s how intuition works. It’s
God whispering to us.
I wish I was always able to hear that
whisper as clearly as I did that day in my car.
I miss signs, I ignore gut feelings, and will find myself going the
wrong way. Mary Ash said, “For every
failure there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.” If I’m really honest about the times in my
life that I made a continuous trip of wrong turns, u-turns, and blatantly went the
wrong way on a one way road, were the times I was running away from something. The something’s easily ranged from the wrong
boy to the wrong job, and I would soon find myself in the wrong place yet
again. Growing older brought me wisdom
and I realize that what I was trying to really run away from was me.
The problem with not recognizing that you
are the problem is that no matter where you go, where you work, where you move
to, you will always be there. Oh, there
you are with same familiar problems. Oh,
there you are with the same unhealthy relationship. Oh, there you are with the same unsatisfying
job. Oh, there you are the same emotionally
eating overweight gal. Oh, it’s you
again? Sometimes the most beautiful paths are
found when you get lost.
Years ago, before I met Dan, I found myself in a little white church in central Phoenix. I never really went to a regular church, on any regular basis. I somehow would end up in a church as a last resort. I just found out the guy I was in a relationship with, and moved to Arizona for, was unfaithful. This same week I was told I was getting laid off from my job. It was the first time in my life that I truly felt all alone. I was new to Phoenix and felt too embarrassed and ashamed to go back to my family in Ohio. I remember that day in that church, feeling pretty lousy. It was a new low; what you could call rock bottom. I had no money, no job, no family, and needed a new home.
I will never forget the moment they started to play “Amazing Grace” and the choir started to sing those words. I heard that song a million times before but the words this time spoke directly to my soul. I felt this overwhelming feeling of peace that I’m going to be okay, God’s got my back, and I’m never alone. Of course the peaceful feeling arrived after tears, of course. It certainly wasn’t the graceful beauty of a single subtle tear kind of cry, but the full blown bawling your eyes out ugly cry. Yeah, nothing brings you closer to God then when you have the soul bearing on your knees ugly cry. But when you fall down and hit rock bottom, if you can look up, you can get up.
Years ago, before I met Dan, I found myself in a little white church in central Phoenix. I never really went to a regular church, on any regular basis. I somehow would end up in a church as a last resort. I just found out the guy I was in a relationship with, and moved to Arizona for, was unfaithful. This same week I was told I was getting laid off from my job. It was the first time in my life that I truly felt all alone. I was new to Phoenix and felt too embarrassed and ashamed to go back to my family in Ohio. I remember that day in that church, feeling pretty lousy. It was a new low; what you could call rock bottom. I had no money, no job, no family, and needed a new home.
I will never forget the moment they started to play “Amazing Grace” and the choir started to sing those words. I heard that song a million times before but the words this time spoke directly to my soul. I felt this overwhelming feeling of peace that I’m going to be okay, God’s got my back, and I’m never alone. Of course the peaceful feeling arrived after tears, of course. It certainly wasn’t the graceful beauty of a single subtle tear kind of cry, but the full blown bawling your eyes out ugly cry. Yeah, nothing brings you closer to God then when you have the soul bearing on your knees ugly cry. But when you fall down and hit rock bottom, if you can look up, you can get up.
My grace is all you
need.
My power works best in weakness.
My power works best in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9
A series of miracles occurred within just
a few weeks following that emotional ugly Amazing Grace breakdown. A wise woman taught me during this time that
God wants us to be specific with our prayers.
So, desperate times called for specific desperate prayers instead of “Help!” I prayed for a new job and prayed for the
exact amount of money I would need to make in order to live alone. I didn’t know anyone and didn’t want to
become a roommate to a stranger. (I watched enough Dateline to know that this
often doesn’t end well.) I prayed for an
apartment and prayed for the exact amount of money I would be able to pay in
rent, which wasn’t much. I also prayed
to get my family back. And that’s
exactly what happened.
I applied for a job I wasn’t even
qualified for and the amount of money I needed to make was a lot more than what
I made at the job they laid me off from. I got the job right away. I am still very close friends with many
people I worked with there. I heard an
inner voice tell me to pull into an apartment complex that was new, beautiful,
and I thought way out of my price range.
I asked what the rent was for a top floor one bedroom. When the woman told me the rent, and it was
the exact amount of money I prayed about, I responded immediately with, “I’ll
take it.” She then asked if I’d like to
see it first. I lived in that special
place for five years before I met my Dan.
The last part of my prayer came to
pass shortly after I found my new home. The
most important part, the relationship with my family was healed. When something falls apart, and it’s God who
puts it back together, what was broken becomes stronger, and better than it
ever was before. I don’t have a fancy
quote to cite to demonstrate this fact, I just know because I lived it.
Psalm 91:11 says “For He shall give
His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.” I believe when someone in your life dies you
now have an angel you know by name.
Things may happen, opportunities come along, doors open, and your “intuition”
will guide you. You have people working
for you and watching over you in the spirit realm. Perhaps it’s a specially assigned guardian
angel. Maybe it’s an ancestor you never
met, whose struggles and hard work paved the path for your life today. Angels are real; I think I have a team. I also sometimes feel I make them work
overtime. I now literally call upon them often and out
loud. Out loud I’ll ask for guidance.
Out loud I’ll share what I’m struggling with. Out loud I’ll also say, “Thank you.” Sometimes I’ll tell them the volume needs turned
up on the GPS because if they’re throwing down a sign, I’m not picking it
up.
Sometimes I don’t listen to my gut because
it’s the opposite of what I really want.
God gave us all free will and often I think I know what’s best for
me. But I have to remind myself that if we knew the entire scope of God’s
plan for us, we would choose His will every single time. Every single time! God has bigger plans and bigger dreams for us
then we could ever imagine for ourselves! We often get
upset at unanswered prayers or praying for a “yes” but get a “no”. How often do you look back and are grateful
for the rejection? Learn to be thankful
in all circumstances. There is a reason
why things happen the way they do.
Not until we are truly lost do we
begin to understand ourselves. Getting
lost will help you find yourself. C.S.
Lewis said, “Life with God is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in
difficulties.” I do believe that when
you take the focus off of God it’s easy to think He’s not there for you. He never leaves. His love never fails. He is always there. It depends on what you focus on. Just like my car’s GPS, if I don’t pay
attention to God, to the signs, and to the whispers, I get off track. When I move my focus from God I often hear that inner GPS voice say, “Recalculating.”
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