Burn the boat!
Lately I’ve been listening to audio books and countless pod casts. I’ve watched Netflix documentaries and
numerous You Tube videos from various sources about the subject
of weight loss and frankly speaking, I am done! Quickly I’ve discovered
that everyone seems to have all the answers including scientific research to
back it up but there's also conflicting stuff out there that is the exact opposite information
that also is supported by scientific research.
Each side claims the other side is funded by some lobbyist group for
each cause. Now today there is some chic
talking to me on the speaker in my car, from the latest audio book, telling me that I need to stop
exercising while I’m in the “weight loss phase” of her magic solution. What was I thinking? No wonder I’m so irritated. It’s time to stop searching outside. The
answers I seek are already inside me!
Clearly
there are bits and pieces of truth that makes sense that I can
pull from to assist me on my journey but all of that stuff I already knew. Then it hit me, God is trying to tell me to use the gift I’ve already been given of discernment. I know what’s best for me; I know what makes
sense for me; I know what is working for me. I need to discern from all
of the conflicting information that’s out there what is right for me. And guess what?
It’s stuff I’ve already been doing since day one! When I go back and read my earlier blog posts
about my plan I feel an inner peace. This
is still the stuff I know will work and is working. It’s time to stop this maddening search for the magic
answer because I hold the key to my own success already.
In fact, it's been working for 43 days so far. Today is day 43! I made
it 43 days on this health journey! This begs a new question. Why have I been able to stay committed
to this plan for well over a month when I previously failed almost daily for
the better of three years? This is huge for me! I have an app on my
phone that is a day counter and it keeps track of the number of days I’ve been
“on the wagon” with this health plan. This is by far the highest
number I’ve seen since I downloaded this thing a few years ago. The record streak before now was 2; I’m not
kidding. Why this time? My hope is
that by confirming why this is working for me I can improve my long term
success in this journey. This week my quest was to really dive deep
into this question and figure out why, after all the failed attempts before, am
I still on the wagon. Many times before I not only fell off the wagon but
I tumbled onto the road, rolled down a hill, often falling off a
cliff. This is huge! So why now?
Taking a
step back, evaluating the situation, it’s obvious that the first and number one
reason is God and His vision for me to start this blog. This blog is my true accountability
partner. Previously, when I was going to a Dr. for this, I had to weigh
in at an office, in front of someone. That held me accountable and
probably was why that worked. Unfortunately there wasn't an emotional
transformation so physical transformation was short lived. This
blog quickly turned into a healing journal. Perhaps an
unconventional public journal, but healing is happening. My quest originally was to find the answers
and then help others. I’ve now learned
that you don’t fix yourself to show up. You show up and the process
starts to fix you.
In addition to having the internet
world as an accountability partner I also realized my level of commitment is
like never before; not even close. Tony Robbins
once said that if your goal of wanting to lose weight is an island you need to burn the boat to truly commit to that goal.
“If you want to take the island, then burn your boats. With absolute commitment come the insights that create real victory.”
In the past I had an escape route to
fall back on; I could just fail, start over, and no one was the wiser. That was my plan
B. What if failure wasn’t an option and I had no plan B? What if plan B
was to find a way to make plan A work? A plan B only distracts
from plan A. I am committed and determined to find answers and make this work. There is no turning back!
But why did I quit before? I
think perfectionism, lack of faith in myself to actually do it and a general
fear of failure that stemmed from my long history of failures. The more I
failed, the less committed I became. This pattern decreased my faith that
I would really being able to do it. That set me up for failure and every
non-perfect screw up would break my resolve to do it. And the cycle would begin again and again and
again. Previous results were achieved by a white knuckling journey of
calorie restriction and exercise, which worked but was not permanent. This time is completely different.
I'm not going to lie. There
are days that the thought of chucking it all and wrapping my arms around a
pizza sounds like heaven but I stop myself in my tracks. I start to think
about what is happening and try to use the skills and ideas that I've uncovered
this past month to talk myself off of the ledge and stay on track. And it
works. It's now been well over a month and even though I still fight the
fear, my commitment of staying on the wagon has never wavered! This week
I did a lot of thinking about how I need to stop being afraid of what could go
wrong and start being excited about what could go right! Not every day
is full of confidence and bliss; doubt tries to sneak in but
I consciously make a choice to block it. I choose my commitment
to this journey over fear. I remind myself of the importance of this journey and choose better. I choose
happiness. I choose confidence. I choose plan A because I want more
out of life. I choose this because I deserve this. The boat is
burned; there is no going back!
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