Between the Ears
I'm not going to lie, it was brutal! Both feet were covered in blisters. Every single muscle ached and shooting pain would go up my shins with each step. That was just half way through day one!! There was a "sweeper bus" that would pick you up if you didn't make it to the next pit stop by a certain time. They would take you to the next pit stop to see if you were able to proceed or quit. I told myself that quitting was not an option! There's no way I'm going to end up on a sweeper bus so we plowed through. Did I mention that San Francisco has a lot of steep hills? I found the only way to make it to the top was not to look up but to put my head down and just take it one step at a time. We would also pump our arms hoping that would help propel our body forward. (My arms seemed to be the only thing on my body not in pain.) Step by step we would eventually make it to the top until we came to the next hill and repeat the process again and again and again. I thought of talks I had with Dan about how the battle of doing something like this is similar to his powerlifting and how the true battle is all in your mind. Your body is capable of so much more but your mind may not believe it. If you beat the struggle in your head you can do anything.
These memories truly applied to this week's weight loss journey! I spent the weekend with my family at a wedding and did great, staying on track and even going for a long walk with my sister. I actually worked out every day this week and ate clean, meeting my calorie goal each day. Even though I knew I did everything I could, I still had this fear towards the end of the week; a lot of fear. I had decided not to weigh myself each day anymore, only weighing once on Saturday to see how I did for the week. I want this journey to be about feeling better and getting healthy. I want this to be about how I feel; not about a number on a scale. But, who am I kidding? I started to feel extremely anxious and worried about what the scale was going to say on Saturday. What if I did all this work and I only lose a pound or worse, nothing at all? What if, God forbid, the number goes up?
Seeing these memory pictures brought me back to reality. The answer is, "who cares!" The truth is that I've been truthful and honest in keeping promises to myself, my fitness pal and to my blog. I've logged my food and have put everything into my workouts. I have done my best and that is all I can do. The battle for weightloss is in our minds. The number will be whatever it will be but the feeling of knowing I've stayed on track, and am giving this all I've got, is what really matters. The sooner my brain realizes that, the better!
Crossing this finish line was a life moment! It felt great- it felt incredible! It proved to me that if you truly set your mind to something you can do it, no matter what. I lost five toenails in the weeks that followed this walk but I didn't care! Now I'm on a new journey which is a lot longer than 39.3 miles but I don't have to do it in two days. My mind has to remember what I've done in the past and what my body is truly capable of. When I come across a steep hill in this journey it'll be head down, arms pumping and taking it step by step. I know I can do this.
By the way - this week I lost 1.2 pounds... total weight loss to date: 7.2 pounds in two weeks. Stepping off the scale I could hear God reminding me, "If you do the work, I'll produce the results. I got you." And since God's got me; I got this!
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